Neil Sturge, a proud RAF veteran and father-of-two from Lincoln, began experiencing vision problems while on holiday in August 2021. A trip to the optician led to him being referred for an MRI scan which revealed a glioblastoma. Neil underwent surgery, radiotherapy and two types of chemotherapy, and initially responded well to treatment. But in spring 2023, his health declined rapidly. He died in July 2023, aged 63, less than two years after his diagnosis. His family is now raising funds in his memory through events including a Mad Hatters Ball, to support vital research into brain tumours.
Here is Neil’s story, as told by his wife, Roma…
Neil was my partner for over 40 years, my best friend and the heart of our family. He was calm, steady, and always ready with a sharp, dry joke. We raised two amazing children, Gemma and Robert, and built a life full of love, travel, and shared purpose.
He served 26 years in the RAF, rising to Chief Technician, and then spent 18 years with the NHS leading IT services. Neil never took a sick day unless absolutely necessary and took pride in everything he did.
He gave just as much outside of work, volunteering as a children’s swimming coach for over 20 years and staying active with the local Lions Club. He kept fit, ran races with our daughter Gemma, and played golf with friends right up until the final months of his life.
Neil officially retired on 31 July 2021, and we looked forward to spending time together; travelling, relaxing, and enjoying the next chapter.
Our future was changed forever just two month’s later in October 2021, shortly after Robert’s wedding.
We were on holiday in Barbados with friends when Neil woke up one morning and said he had lost his peripheral vision on one side. At the time, we laughed it off joking that it must have been the cocktails. But when we returned home and it hadn’t improved, he visited Jason Rickaby Opticians in Lincoln, who referred him to Lincoln County Hospital for further testing. When the Opthalmology department failed to contact him, we persuaded Neil to visit our GP who also referred him to Lincoln County Hospital, but this time it was to the Neurology Department. An MRI scan revealed something concerning at the back of his brain, and we were sent to Queen’s Medical Centre in Nottingham for answers.
On 11 October 2021, we sat in a consultation room and heard the words no one ever wants to hear. Neil had a grade 4 glioblastoma – an aggressive, incurable brain tumour. Without treatment, they told us, he would have around six months. With treatment, perhaps 12 to 18 months. We were devastated. There had been no warning signs as Neil was fit, active, and hadn’t even had a cold. It felt impossible to accept.
But Neil being Neil, didn’t waste time. Just three days later, he underwent surgery to remove 97% of the tumour, followed by six weeks of daily radiotherapy and six cycles of oral chemotherapy. Remarkably, he handled it all with resilience and strength. Aside from the first dose of chemo, which briefly knocked him off his feet, he powered through treatment with few side effects, determined to keep living as normally as possible.
By spring 2022, an MRI showed slight regrowth so Neil was switched to a new treatment plan called PCV chemotherapy which is a mix of oral and intravenous drugs. Around the same time, we had a long-planned family holiday to the Maldives. His new consultant gave him the go-ahead, with two conditions: take emergency contact details, and wear a hat at all times. We went and it was magical, a precious window of peace and joy in the middle of our storm.
A follow-up scan in November 2022 brought unexpected joy – the tumour had shrunk by a third.
It was the best news we’d had in over a year, and for the first time since diagnosis, we allowed ourselves a little hope. Neil completed three more rounds of PCV, and in January 2023, he surprised me with a trip to Mauritius for my 60th birthday, a milestone he’d been determined to reach.
But in the spring, things began to change. After contracting a stomach bug at Easter, Neil’s health began to decline. He lost weight, became more fatigued, and we noticed changes in his speech and behaviour. We both knew what the scan would show before we even had it. The tumour was growing again.
The final treatment offered was Carboplatin, an intravenous chemotherapy that could, if successful, extend his life by another year. But the side effects were severe, and the risks were high. After talking it through with our Macmillan nurse, Neil decided to try it. He said he had to – for me, for the kids, and for himself.
He had his first dose in June. That night, we even went out with friends for a meal. It felt, briefly, like things might be okay. But by the next day he was too tired to get out of bed. Over the weekend, he barely ate or drank. I called the Community Team, and he was admitted to hospital. He was diagnosed with severe oral thrush and dangerously low hydration. Then came more complications – a ruptured Baker’s cyst behind his knee, and the news that the effects of his medication had caused diabetes, requiring daily insulin injections, which I administered.
Despite everything, Neil kept fighting. He managed one last outing in June to watch our son be sworn in as President of the Lions Club. It meant everything to him.
We tried to arrange for Neil to come home, but his condition was deteriorating too quickly. We prepared the house, turned the dining room into a bedroom, arranged equipment and care. But he was never well enough to leave the hospital. On 9 July 2023, Neil died peacefully in his sleep.
Since his death, I’ve been doing everything I can to honour his memory and raise awareness of this cruel disease. In May, I, together with our daughter, her partner and a family friend, completed The Lap, a 47-mile walk around Windermere in under 24 hours, raising over £2,500 for Brain Tumour Research. Neil used to joke I wasn’t fit enough to do it so of course I had to prove him wrong.
Now, we’re organising the Mad Hatters Ball – an event inspired by Neil’s love of dressing up and a nod to Brain Tumour Research’s Wear A Hat Day.
Held at the International Bomber Command Centre in Lincoln on 19 July 2025, it will feature live music, auctions, raffles, and a chance to come together in celebration. Our goal is to raise enough for at least one commemorative tile on the charity’s Wall of Hope – a permanent tribute to Neil and everything he stood for.
Neil didn’t just live, he made a difference. He gave his time, his energy, and his heart to everything he did. Brain tumours remain the biggest cancer killer of people under 40 yet receive just 1% of the UK’s national cancer research funding. That must change.
Roma Sturge
July 2025
One in three people in the UK knows someone affected by a brain tumour. This disease is indiscriminate; it can affect anyone at any age. What’s more, brain tumours continue to kill more children and adults under the age of 40 than any other cancer yet, to date, just 1% of the national spend on cancer research has been allocated to this devastating disease since records began in 2002.
Brain Tumour Research is determined to change this.
If you have been touched by Neil’s story, you may like to make a donation via www.braintumourresearch.org/donate or leave a gift in your will via www.braintumourresearch.org/legacy
Together we will find a cure.
